I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
