My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize