I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
