I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
did i walk over a car last night?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
