watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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