just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
