A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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