I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
