I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
