i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
