sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
