You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
