Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
