The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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