TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
