thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
