he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
