he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
