everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
