I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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