Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
