omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
