Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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