Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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