why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
