It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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