and i looked up. we had an audience...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
