ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
