Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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