I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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