At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
