he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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