currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
