I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
