you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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