In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
