Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
