Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
