Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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