well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
