Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
