I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
