Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dignity is for republicans.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
