then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have aggressive nipples.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
