We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
