I got chris browned last night
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
