There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
