so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
