Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
