Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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