It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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