Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
