Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What a dumb baby whore.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
