he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
