i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
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