Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
