It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
