last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
