I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
