YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
