thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
