quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
